Devil’s Hands are Idle Playthings

There’s one way and only one way to determine if an animal is intelligent. Dissect its brain! I’m a thing. Who are those horrible orange men? And then the battle’s not so bad?

Now, now. Perfectly symmetrical violence never solved anything.

You guys realize you live in a sewer, right?
A Taste of Freedom
You know the worst thing about being a slave? They make you work, but they don’t pay you or let you go. Oh yeah, good luck with that. Aww, it’s true. I’ve been hiding it for so long. Guess again.

Love’s Labors Lost in Space
Look, everyone wants to be like Germany, but do we really have the pure strength of ‘will’? And from now on you’re all named Bender Jr. I feel like I was mauled by Jesus. Wow, you got that off the Internet? In my day, the Internet was only used to download pornography.